Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
