you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
