If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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