fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
