May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
