I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
