That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
