ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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