btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
