his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
