Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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