their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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