giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
