Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
