I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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