five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she looked like the before picture.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
