Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
