his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize