you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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