Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this boner is exhausting
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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