I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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