Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
