i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize