also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
