This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
