There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
