Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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