watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
