We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dick very happy bro
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Shame - the story of my life.
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