I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
