dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
