And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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