He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
