and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
