I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize