We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
