you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize