i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
