I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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