Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you win again, gameday.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
