he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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