Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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