ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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