I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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