Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
