id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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