my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
