By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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