oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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