from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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