It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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