ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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