the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
