When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
