ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
