I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
