Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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