There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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