i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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